Archive reports

Ask any middle aged and paranoid housewife about their less than attentive husbands and they may threaten the expression “if they are not getting it at home they’ll be looking elsewhere”. This phrase is generally not welcomed amongst the thoughtful and modern day thinking of Malton & Norton Ratcatchers however just occasionally when the outlook is grim on the ratting field we gladiators have to obey our natural instinct and go searching for a more appealing, less familiar bed to lay in.

After our usual meet at the Spotted Cow, on a cold and frosty Sunday morning, a determined few set out in convoy to a farm at Hovingham. This farm over past battles has given joy to all that visit it and generally boasts a bag of 50 plus rats. However whether it was the effective poisoning program that the host farmer had implemented or the change in stock type being reared on the farm something had driven the resident rodents to fresh pastures. Even the farmer’s shed that had previously been such a den of iniquity to vermin came up wanting. A rather cruel stickman was stated as saying “ There was more chance of finding vegetables in Fred West’s garden” than rats on this generally accommodating farm. The one unfortunate rat that just happened to be passing through from out of town after a sleep in at this Hovingham bed & breakfast was the only rodent unlucky enough to be punished. After an hour of relentless searching an executive decision had to be made.

For the first time in the history of the Malton & Norton Rugby Ratcatchers, the venue had to be swapped midway through and a previously visited farm was chosen just a short drive away in Scackleton. Some of the stickmen lacking faith, left before momentum got going but for those who stayed an excellent morning of ratting followed. The team seemed to be at full complement with a collection of 7 terriers and a cross section of stickmen.

Battle commenced at some palette loads of roofing sheets. This site had previously been a lucrative one and this morning was to be no exception. “Toffee” yapped, “Elvis” pointed, “Coco” dug and “Frankie’s” tail flicked like a Parkinson Sufferer’s wrist. The anticipation was electric and an outfield of stickmen surrounded the two heaps. The smoker came into its own revving oily fumes under the sheets. The more nervy rats fled to their peril, the braver more experienced rodents stood their ground. Confident that the terriers knew there were more, a proactive stance was taken to evict the vermin. One senior member demonstrated the noble art of drain rodding to great effect. His frantic motion with the triple length rod resembled a fiddler’s elbow and would have put Vanessa ‘Ting-Tong’ Mai to shame. Many of the braver rats made a dash to a nearby antiquated cement mixer. This gave the slimmer terriers a chance to show their prowess in close quarter rodent battling within the guts of the machine. “Izzy” a new team member excelled at this being of a slight frame that some might compare to that of a ferret rather than a terrier. Her team and house mate “Cathra” mopped up anything that “Izzy” missed.

The event continued around the yard and most notably stopped at a selection of potato boxes and palettes loaded with concrete blocks and clay drainage pipes. A ditch ran along side and offered the perfect 18-30 holiday resort for the ratty pests. The site was partially cleared of feed troughs that were laid around the arena to form a slowing down barrier. Again an outfield of stickmen surrounded the heaps and the terriers darted amongst them. Rats seemed to flee from everywhere with only a few escaping to the Ditch of Salvation. “Frankie” seemed to revel in the narrow gaps between palettes making light work of the fleeing rats, proving that “just because your dog looks like it needs a good worming doesn’t mean it can’t work….”.

The final crescendo came when a stack of timber scaffold boards was moved from the side of a building after some obvious marking from “Billy”. Board after board was relocated to the increasing interest of the terriers. The volume levels and excitement seemed to greaten exponentially like one might expect at a strip tease, awaiting the final glimpse of the dancers ‘Well-watched Wound”. As the G-string was removed an almighty scream went out as if the she was a he and was packing a meat and two veg. The reality in hunt terms was that a small plague of rats bolted in every direction. All the terriers piled in and not one left empty mouthed. To the trained eye it was a moment to savour.

With the afternoon approaching an end was called to the hunt and a team photo was taken. Some of the early bathers unfortunately missed this but we hope to see them on Boxing Day when we join the Middleton Hunt in the Market Place of Malton. True to our label the intention is to have a low key run out with a few terriers and then onto the Rugby Game. The Malton & Norton Rugby Ratcatchers would like to thank the host Farmer for allowing us, at such short notice, to work his farm and would also like to wish our Website Voyeurs a Very Merry Christmas and a rodent reduced New Year.